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The Best Book I’ve Read in 2025 (So Far)
Back in January, I read Shark Heart by Emily Habeck, and I’m fairly certain that I will be comparing every book I read this year to how I was completely sucked into this book.
While this book contains elements that are fantastical in nature, which is not something I normally gravitate to, the idea of someone slowing morphing into a Great White Shark is weird, and I can definitely get into something weird. I also don’t typically feel called to something that says “A Love Story” on the cover. That is, unless there is something explicitly unique about it, and in this case, there certainly is.
Shark Heart is a story about love, loss, grief, transformation, and what it’s like to be a caregiver. The writing is beautiful. It’s partially written as a play, as Lewis has aspirations of becoming a playwright. It’s also paced very well.
If you haven’t, I encourage you to pick up this book and let it suck you into it.
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For Those Feeling Helpless
Making a rare appearance on this blog because I know it’s been a hell of a month, and I see and hear a lot of people expressing justified despair and exhaustion. It’s really, really easy to feel helpless, so this is my take that admittedly no one asked for. But staying focused the only thing helping me.
We know this man is shit in a tragedy. Blaming a plane crash on DEI is obviously absurd and frankly dangerous. Pointing fingers at everyone but himself for the bad stuff that happens on his watch and likely even as a measurable result of his own actions is par for the course. Is it infuriating? Of course. But it’s not surprising.
The plane crash in D.C. this week will probably be the first of many tragedies where the guy in charge has nothing helpful to offer. Try to find a way to help. I’m not suggesting you look away or turn the other cheek. We have to stay informed, but try to find a way to help.
The next 4 years are going to be exhausting. Between the cruelty of the ill-informed policies, the disregard for actual human life, and the general idiocy of the people running things, getting worked up will be extremely easy.
Be un-triggerable and stay focused. Don’t let the assholes see you get worked up. Go home and scream into a pillow, bang on the steering wheel in your car, but be unwavering. There is a whole swath of people who operate from a place of “owning the libs,” and they love seeing your anger and your tears. Do not let the dumb shit distract you from doing something helpful, not only for yourself but for the community you are able to support. Protect your peace and take time to unplug, don’t stop doing the things you love. Recharge so you can get up and get back in the fight in whatever way you can. We need you.
It might feel small, but community is going to very important in the coming months and years, not only for mental health, but also for building a coalition to change the trajectory in 2 and 4 years. Lean into it and build on it. It looks different for everyone. Find your community and the place you can make even a small bit of difference and focus on that.
For me, it means keeping my little neighborhood bar safe and welcoming for everyone, especially those who do not currently feel welcome in other spaces. It means fostering a community of people who *gasp* care about other people and the well-being of the world around them. This is a small pocket of the world that I can have at least a little control over. I can provide the people who are directly impacted by the abhorrent policies of this administration a respite for even a brief amount of time.
As a business owner, I obviously can’t control who walks in our doors. But I can make sure there are standards for behavior, and there is zero tolerance for racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia in our space.
Some of my regulars are attorneys fighting for families impacted by deportations, trans members of the military, teachers, therapists, and everyday people who care about the people in their community. They will be my focus and my purpose.
Find the thing that gives you purpose and a way to help. It doesn’t mean that any of this will get easier. In some ways, it might even get harder. In addition to my own anxieties about what happens to my business when my patrons have to spend more on groceries, and the things I have to buy get more expensive, my thoughts are also consumed by the worries people talk to me about every day and the things they’re going through. As you may have heard, bartenders are also unlicensed therapists and listening ears. It can be tough some days. But I know in my heart that holding space for people is making a positive impact.
On a personal level, I will not be extending olive branches if this is what you voted for. You are not my concern even a little bit. While I don’t make a habit of wishing anyone a bad time, I honestly hope you feel an ounce of the discomfort you’ve caused other people. Your vote showed your whole ass. This isn’t a team sport. It is and has been beyond politics, and people tried to tell you that he does not care about you or making your life easier. If somehow you have already come to regret your vote, then I hope you will find a way to help the people whose lives you’ve made more difficult than you can fathom, and in some cases, even put in actual jeopardy. If your instinct is to blame black, brown, trans people, and women for the things you think you should be getting and are not, take a hard look at yourself.
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My Ballot for the Top 10 Books of the 21st Century
I obviously had to get in on this because I love sharing my opinion when absolutely no one asked for it. The New York Times recently posted their 100 best books of the 21st century – as voted on by writers and critics. I had read 10 of the books on the list, and I have some others on my shelf at home waiting to be read.
It was fun to see the books that made the list and add a few books to my TBR. But here’s the thing to always remember about lists, whether it’s put out by the New York Times or Buzzfeed – they don’t matter. It’s all someone else’s opinion, and while there were a few books on the NYT list that I thought were great, there were also some that I absolutely hated (*cough* Atonement *cough*). So honestly, who really cares?
That said, here are the books that would have been on my top 10 of the 21st century ballot, in no particular order.
The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson – This book should be required reading. In 2020, as we were all (hopefully) looking inward in the midst of the murder of George Floyd and the protests that followed, I became so angry at the education system for leaving so much out. How had I never heard of the Great Migration before? This is a non-fiction book that reads like a novel following three people and their families and how their migration from the south to the north and west shaped their lives and the country.
Several People are Typing by Calvin Kasulke – This is one of the funniest books I’ve ever read. It’s written entirely in Slack conversation, and if you were part of the WFH transition that occurred during COVID, the idea of someone’s consciousness being uploaded into Slack is probably a premise you feel in your bones along with the office rumor mill and useless bosses. Who says the best books have to be serious? I will be taking no questions or comments about this being on my ballot.
The Nickel Boys by Colson Whitehead – If you saw the full NYT list, you probably saw Colson Whitehead’s The Underground Railroad on the list. In my humble opinion, The Nickel Boys is the superior of Whitehead’s novels. It’s brutal and heartbreaking, and the ending is just so, so good.
Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi – This book is an epic family saga starting during the slave trade. It follows two half-sisters whose lives take very different paths and their descendants all the way to present day. Gyasi is an incredible writer, and this book did not disappoint.
The Witches are Coming by Lindy West – I will read anything Lindy West writes. She’s been one of my favorite feminist voices for a long time. This book is thoughtful and also laugh-out-loud funny. “Ted Bundy is not Charming, Are You High?” is an all-time favorite essay.
Good and Mad by Rebecca Traister – Another feminist voice that I always enjoy hearing from, her books are dense with history and information. This book came out in the aftermath of the 2016 election, The Women’s March, and the #Metoo movement and gives readers a history of the impact of pissed off women and what they’ve been able to accomplish.
When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi – This is a wildly sad book, but damn it’s good. This memoir is written by an accomplished surgeon who is diagnosed with aggressive terminal cancer. It is heavy, but it is also very hopeful.
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon – A boy with autism sets out to solve the suspicious death of his neighbor’s dog. I remember being really taken by the voice this book is written in. It’s told from the perspective of the boy – what he sees and feels and how he interprets the world around him. It was adapted into a stage play that I was able to see when it came through Denver, and it was excellent.
Luster by Raven Leilani – This is one of those books that I don’t know if I can explain why I love it so much. It was my favorite book of 2020. It’s so weird and funny, and the stream-of-consciousness way of writing. I kind of feel like you should read this one without knowing anything about it.
There it is. That’s my ballot. Agree? Disagree? Lemme know.
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Why I Started a Book Club – When I Kind of Hate Book Clubs
Historically, I’ve been a real turd whenever anyone has asked me about being in a book club. I’ve usually said something along the lines of, “I don’t like reading on someone else’s timeline” or, “Reading is my ‘introvert activity.’” I didn’t want to share it with anyone or have anyone else’s opinions about a book influence my own and vice versa.
Here’s the thing I was missing though. It’s not about the books. I mean, it is. Readers really love to talk about books. But there was something I was missing.
In a post-COVID world, where people have grown accustomed to isolation and convenience, it seems like people are having a harder and harder time finding community. Maybe they’ve lost the stamina for social situations, simply lost touch with the people and places around them or moved to a new city during the pandemic giving them little opportunity to get to know their surroundings.
Since COVID completely shifted our behaviors, it’s become more apparent to me that people need to have a reason to leave the house and be among people. I’ve even had people say as much to me. It needs to be trivia night or their friend’s band must be playing. Going to a neighborhood bar for a beer and to see your friends and neighbors is not something people do as commonly.
With less time spent in offices, there are less happy hours with co-workers. Working from home provides a big incentive to stay in comfy clothes and drink the bottle of wine you got while doing your weekly grocery shopping. Alone. While sending your favorite TikToks to your friend who is probably doing the exact same thing.
This isn’t a bad thing. Lazy days and nights in are necessary. As someone who identifies has an introvert, my time spent alone is rejuvenating. But when does it bleed into loneliness and when does loneliness bleed into increased likelihood for things like depression?
For months, conversations about books in my bar led to, “You should start a book club” comments. Already feeling stretched thin, my response to those people was always, “You are welcome to start your own book club and meet here.”
I didn’t want to do it – not only because I never really liked the idea of a being in a book club myself but also because my free time is so limited, and I already struggle to make space for things I should for my own physical and mental well-being. Like exercise and getting enough sleep.
Owning a business is a dream life in many ways, but it is no walk in the park if you haven’t heard.
When I was considering starting a book club, I had a great example of what a low commitment adult extra-curricular might look like. In 2018, I joined Choir League in Denver after searching for years to find the right fit to return to singing with other people. It’s a choir composed largely of adults in the 25 to 45 age range open to all skill and experience levels. During each 6-to-8-week cycle that include one 2-hour rehearsal each week and a performance at the end, attendance is not monitored, and it is understood that sometimes, you may be late, need to leave early, or miss a rehearsal entirely because we are all adults with varied responsibilities. Resources are provided to aid in learning at home. The primary goal has always been having fun and building community while making music together.
Taking a page out of that book, I started the Western Sky Book Coven – embracing some of the witchy themes of our bar’s name.
We’ll have meetups once a month to discuss that month’s pick. The books are selected months in advance, so that readers don’t have any sort of strict timelines to stick to. And if they don’t really have an interest in the book for that month, no big deal. No offense taken.
After our first meetup, here’s what I realized. While readers are excited to talk about books, they’re hungry for real connection, community, and shared experiences. Face to face.
So, keeping that in mind, that will always be my primary goal as a business owner – to create opportunities and provide a space for connections to be made and an avenue for conversations to start.
I tried to choose books that I believed would be natural discussion starters and books people have likely at least heard about. Here’s our list for January to June. Grab them from bookshop.org or your local indie bookstore and read with us!
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January Reading Wrap-up
This post contains affiliate links.
January has come to a close, and it was kind of a great month, to be honest. It’s pretty incredible the difference a year makes. Last January we were only a few months into owning a business, and not only is January always the worst month for bars and restaurants, but we were also brand new, and Omicron was everywhere. We were certain that we had made the worst decision of our lives, and every day we were trying to think of new ways to get people in the door.
*Knocking on wood* Things have been fairly stable for the last several months, and rather than try to force anything in January, we felt fairly safe using the slower time to rest a bit. We took a break from comedy shows and live music which gave us all more time to relax. For me, that meant starting the year with some great reads.
Let’s get into it.
The Office of Historical Corrections by Danielle Evans
This collection of short stories followed by a novella tackles issues of race, history, and culture in interesting ways that challenge readers to consider their own beliefs. Really great read.
My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell
This book wrecked me. I knew going into it that the subject matter would be tough. The way the author describes the intricacies of grooming so that the reader can watch this slow progression and the little things predators do to trap their targets. And the psychology of it all… My only critique of this book is that the end felt a bit rushed, but I thought it was excellent.
Big time TW: Child molestation and rape
A History of Wild Places by Shea Ernshaw
A History of Wild Places is beautifully written and sort of entrancing to read. I got cult vibes pretty quickly when introduced to Pastoral, which isn’t incorrect, but there is also a lot more to it. I liked the multi-POV and the way the author starts to reveal what’s really happening. However, I wasn’t blown away by what was revealed. I think I was maybe hoping for something a little more interesting, and I figured it out before I read it. Still, a good read that I would recommend. It may have been a 3ish star read for me, but so many people love love love this book.
I Hate Men
10/10. No notes.
November 9 by Colleen Hoover
Colleen Hoover really splits the room, and I 10000% percent get it. I loved Verity because I sort of love things that are weird, creepy, and fucked up. This book however is riddled with red flags and incredibly problematic ideas about what is romantic. So many people love this book, and it was a page-turner for me. BUT I think reading this book requires a person to be able to identify what behavior is acceptable when in pursuit of a love interest.
The Girl with the Louding Voice by Abi Dare
Wow. What a read. Initially, the way that it was written caught me off-guard because it is written in a first-hand perspective of a 14-year-old Nigerian girl. This book is tragic and hopeful at the same time. It follows this young girl when she is sold into marriage, runs away and is later trafficked to work for a wealthy woman who abuses her. Still, she never gives up hope for her future. A stark reminder of what women face in other parts of the world.
Call Us What We Carry by Amanda Gorman
I’ve been dabbling in audiobooks to see if my wandering mind can be tamed. Spoiler – not likely. But, poetry in audiobook form is something I would recommend. Not knowing anything about poetry really, I probably wouldn’t have known the rhythm of each piece reading it on my own. Gormon revisits the loneliness of the pandemic and protests following George Floyd’s murder, as well as the history of civil rights and race in America. Highly recommend.
Someone We Know by Shari Lapena
I think Shari Lapena is very good at the nosy neighbor, suburban busy-body mysteries. While murder is obviously bad, for me, her books are fun whodunnit-type reads that are quick and kind of a reset when I’ve been reading very heavy material. This one is fun. I liked it more than Stranger in the House.
Until next month…
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Blind Date with a Book and Cocktail
My Etsy shop is OPEN FOR BUSINESS. If you love book surprises and drinks, this is for you. If you have bookwork friends who love fun cocktails, the is a great gift option.
Each book comes with a curated cocktail recipe, a bookmark, and a sticker. OR you can get a whole gift box that includes all of that plus a whiskey-scented tea light and the glass for your cocktail.
Check it out. I’d love to send you a book!
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Colleen Hoover: It’s Complicated
This post contains spoilers.
This post contains affiliate links.
First, I will not claim to be an expert in Colleen Hoover’s bookography (is that a word?). I’ve only read three of her books: It Ends with Us, Verity, and November 9. I honestly wasn’t even familiar with her until maybe 2020, when I found myself spending more time on Goodreads in the midst of the pandemic. But since immersing myself in the bookstagram and booktok corners of the internet, it has become very apparent that the particular author really divides a room. And it’s very black and white – you live for her books and have read every one OR you read one and decided it was unforgivably problematic and antifeminist and you will never read her again and shame on the people who do.
I think this conversation is deserving of a bit more nuance, which is something we seem to have lost sight of because here’s the thing – there are many things we’ve loved over the course of our lives that are wildly problematic by today’s standards. But you still love them and remember them fondly.
Let’s talk about It Ends with Us. It’s a story about a girl who grew up in an abusive home where she witnessed her father being physically violent toward her mother many times. She befriends and ultimately develops a romantic relationship with a homeless boy squatting in the abandoned home next door. Her dad finds out and beats the crap out of the boy, and he ultimately disappears from her life when he moves away.
The girl grows up, meets a man (more importantly, HOT man who is a DOCTOR because that is an irresistible combination for any woman), and has a whirlwind, passion-filled relationship, they marry fast, and it turns out he has childhood trauma and – surprise – she has found herself in her very own abusive relationship, perpetuating the toxic cycle that started in her childhood. She goes back and forth about leaving this man after several assaults, including attempted rape, and eventually, she does leave him.
Let me back up – at this point, she has coincidentally run into her childhood love who has become a successful restaurateur and owns a local restaurant, and he spots the signs of her abuse. She denies it and he tells her to call him if she’s in trouble. The husband is JEALOUS and thrown into a fit of rage when he finds out about his wife’s history with this chef at a local restaurant.
When the girl leaves her abusive huz, she seeks shelter with her childhood companion. Oh, and she has discovered she is pregnant but does not tell her husband for several months. When her husband discovers her pregnancy, he begs her to give him another chance. She considers and ultimately asks for a divorce when their daughter is born by saying something along the lines of, “How would you feel if your daughter grew up and someone hit her?” He resigns himself to admitting he would want his daughter to leave that guy. They get divorced, he’s a great dad who still just gets to be a dad. She starts a relationship with her childhood love, they live happily ever after (I assume – there’s another book that I haven’t read). The End.
The complaints about this book are passionate and valid. She sympathizes with the abuser by bringing his own trauma into the story, and when all is said and done, there are really no consequences for his behavior. He gets divorced and still is able to see his child UNSUPERVISED. Not to mention, the graphic descriptions of abuse are severely retraumatizing for those who have experienced abusive relationships.
That said, I devoured this book. I found it gripping and entertaining, and I stayed up late to finish it. I was sort of tricked into believing it was good and that the ending was happy with an amicable divorce and healthy co-parenting.
How about Verity? To be honest, I don’t have much to say about this because it’s weird and fucked up, which is kind of my jam. I liked it, BUT I definitely understand how it might not be everyone’s cup of tea because it’s pretty gruesome. Turns out the dude is a big fat liar at the end and actually knew things he pretended not to know, and the girl sweeps that under the rug and they carry on with their new happy life together. But fine.
I recently finished November 9. Basically, girl meets boy but is about to spread her wings and move across the country. The girl in question was injured in a fire two years prior and has disfiguring scars on part of her face and body. Her confidence is shit. The boy tells her she’s beautiful, and they spend a few exciting and passionate hours together before she gets on a plane and takes off for her new life. They agree to have no contact with each other but meet every year on November 9th, so they don’t distract each other from pursuing their goals. The boy is a writer, so he is tasked with writing the ultimate romance book about their relationship over these five years.
Duh, they fall madly in love with each other, and the years in between their visits are excruciating. There are twists and turns, family tragedies, and other relationships that threaten to throw a wrench in their happily ever after.
When they finally decide to cut the bullshit and just date, she discovers that he has omitted a very big truth: He started the fire that caused her disfiguring scars, and she has believed the whole time that her father was responsible because he spilled gasoline next to a car. He was 16 when his mother committed suicide, and through some bad detective work, he believed that the girl’s dad was somehow responsible because turns out he was romantically involved with his mother. In his teenage rage, he starts a fire that he intends to only consume a car, but since there is gasoline spilled nearby, and the car is in the DRIVEWAY, it consumes the whole house. Dad has forgotten (!!) that his daughter is upstairs.
The boy is guilt-stricken when he learns he injured someone and can’t stop thinking about it. When he happens upon the girl’s father two years later, he follows him because there may be a chance he will lead him to the girl he injured. Their meeting two years after the fire was part chance and part force. He overhears dad telling his daughter she’s too ugly to continue the acting career she previously had as he sits in an adjacent booth at a restaurant. He slides in and pretends that he’s her boyfriend and tells dad off. Thus, their super healthy relationship begins.
When the girl discovers who her one true love really is, she is big mad (as she should be). She leaves him heartbroken until a year later when he leaves his manuscript on her doorstep and she reads the whole story. All is forgiven and she is manipulated into believing that everyone is super innocent because they were only reacting to their own grief. In fact, she should really apologize (!!) and they live happily ever after. Oh and her dad isn’t so bad. The fire wasn’t really his fault. How could she blame him for FORGETTING ABOUT HER? After all, she texted him 12 whole hours before it happened, and he was grieving the loss of his supposed girlfriend. How could he remember?
November 9 is riddled with red flags from start to finish. When the two have just met, he attempts to find out the style and color of her undergarments, at which point she should have pepper sprayed him and run. The entire way through, no means yes to this guy. He tracks her down when she didn’t show up to meet him. It’s the classic pursuit until the pursued is worn down into agreement we were all taught was normal and even romantic because it’s in literally every 90s rom-com. And I love a rom-com, but harassment and stalking ain’t love. Furthermore, in so many of those movies we grew up with the man does something questionable at best, and criminal at worst that the woman has to forgive him for at the risk of being branded a heinous bitch – 10 Things I hate About You, You’ve Got Mail, 500 Days of Summer, She’s All That, and the list goes on…
I love these movies, you guys. They’re entertaining, and the guys have always fallen in love and regretted their bad actions, so come on, give them another chance. But in the year 2023, I watch these movies with more seasoned eyes, and I listen to the dialogue with more experienced ears, right down to the cop-out PMS jokes in 10 Things I Hate About You.
Women have always carried the emotional burden of men’s bad behavior. Boundaries aren’t strength; they’re a sign you’re an uptight shrew who will ultimately die sad and alone with a minimum of three cats. All the while men get to fuck around and find out they have no consequences and even get the girl.
The only consequence in any of the books I mentioned is a divorce, which is pretty minor considering all the ACTUAL CRIMES committed including attempted rape.
There is no punishment for ARSON in November 9. He was just sad. Good lord, tell me women are too emotional one more time. Instead, it’s the woman who has concluded that she has been overreacting the whole time for the man who nearly killed her AND the man who forgot about her and told her she was ugly.
But, they were entertaining and kept me turning the page. And an ending where relationships are mended is a happy one for some people. I can only hope that those people are critical thinkers who can understand that to like something doesn’t mean that you can’t be critical of it.
On the other hand, these books can be incredibly traumatizing, and thus, an absoloute no-way for someone who has been impacted by domestic violence.
As readers, whether you like Colleen Hoover’s books or not, I think it’s silly to attack someone personally for either opinion. I recognize the problems with these books, and I’m honestly not sure if I’ll pick up another Colleen Hoover book. I also get why they are enjoyable to read.
I don’t know if I believe that Colleen Hoover is the woman-hating antifeminist villain that many believe her to be. I think she’s just kind of a hack and little lazy, regurgitating endings we’ve seen before and finding the quickest path to an ending we have been conditioned to believe is happy. It is only through the deconstruction of our own conditioning that we realize that the “happy” ending is not necessarily so.
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December Reading Wrap-up
This post contains affiliate links.
All opinions are my own. It’s okay to disagree. Just don’t be a dick.
For some reason, a fire lit under me in December, and I started devouring books more than I have all year. I think the Wellbutrin started kicking in. Plus, the end of December into January is the one stretch that we have a little time off from the bar and can enjoy some R & R.
I also returned to my day job after some time off, and I realized I had been wasting so much of the time that I have during the day. I work way faster than the general speed of corporate America. I can generally get my work done in half the time or less.
I read some great books in December. Let’s get into it.
The Nineties: A Book by Chuck Klosterman
I love the 90s. I was a kid for basically all of it, but I remember the music, the politics, and getting my first AOL account. This book was so much fun. I loved revisiting the decade with the distance of the last 20+ years and the context that provides. I recommend this for anyone feeling some nostalgia for their younger years.
Bevvie Pairing: A whiskey drink, a vodka drink, a lager drink, a cider drink
Fleishman is in Trouble by Taffy Brodesser-Akner
The more I think about this book, the more I love it. Nothing is what it looks like by the end of the book. The way this book turns traditional gender roles within a marriage completely upside down, discusses aging and mental health as they all intertwine in midlife is interesting to read, and I loved the perspective of the narrator who was also telling her own story throughout the book. There were some flashbacks that felt abrupt and a little confusing, but honestly, I think watching the FX/Hulu show actually made me appreciate those parts of the book more.
Bevvie Pairing: Manhattan
Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon
A sweet YA read about a teenage love story. A girl stuck inside because of an immune system deficiency condition falls in love with her neighbor and risks everything to be with him. It was a lovely book, and I loved the chat transcripts and the drawings and doodles throughout the book. Sometimes reading a YA book with an adult brain gets a bit weird because when everything unfolded by the end of the book, my last thought was about the mother and whether she would be held accountable for her actions. But I enjoyed it overall.
Bevvie Pairing: Tequila Sunrise
OMG WTF Does the Constitution Actually Say? by Ben Sheehan
Fun fact about me: I started college as a political science major and ultimately changed it because I didn’t know about all of the career opportunities that exist within that field. I just thought everyone went to law school which was of no interest to me. I still care very much about civic engagement and being knowledgeable on our political system. Less than half of the people in this country can even name the three branches of government. COME ON! Anyway, let’s bring civics education and use this swear-y book about the constitution.
Bevvie Pairing: America Lager of your choice
The Glass Hotel by Emily St. John Mandel
This had been on and off by TBR for a while and then I found a used copy and decided to give it a go. It is absolutely beautifully written. The way the characters are connected with each other, and the central story is interesting and surprising as everything unfolds. There were a few things that I didn’t really connect with, mostly the ghosts.
Bevvie Pairing: Corpse Reviver
We Were Liars by E. Lockhart
Greed destroys. The main character experiences an accident that results in the loss of her memory of the summer she spent on her rich family’s private island. When she returns two years later, still missing her memory, everything starts to come back to her. I did not see the end coming. Completely surprised me.
*Spoiler Alert*
I’m going to try to make this spoiler a not-too-much-of-a-spoiler, but I think the end of this book should have a trigger warning. There was recently a fire in my apartment building, and while we were all waiting outside after evacuating the building, we saw the firefighters bring a dog outside who was trapped in the apartment and perform CPR on him. He did not make it. It was incredibly difficult and traumatizing to watch, and recently having that experience made the end of the book tough for me to read. Do with that what you will.
Bevvie Pairing: White wine spritzer
The Last Thing He Told Me by Laura Dave
I thought this book was really fun. The whole book had be wondering what the heck was happening, where was Owen? Is he a bad guy or a good guy? I don’t know that I was totally shocked by the way things unfolded, but it was a fun read. And as a rational adult human, I don’t know that like, two connections to a certain city would get me to jump on a plan to search for my missing husband. Hey, we all have our limits.
There was a line in the book that said that Owen was drinking a “tall glass of whiskey” at a hotel bar, which made me LOL. That is absolutely not a thing that happens at any bar. It’s a single or a double, on the rocks or neat. A tall glass of whiskey would perhaps lead to alcohol poisoning. Minor detail, but it was funny to me.
Bevvie Pairing: Chardonnay, or a tall glass of whiskey, I guess
The Office of Historical Corrections by Danielle Evans
Reading diverse authors is really important to me, and I was admittedly not great about that in 2022. This book is a collection of short stories and a novella. All of them tackle some facet of race relations – the presence of the confederate flag on a college campus, racial differences within families, and the history we don’t get right. I really enjoyed this and would definitely recommend it.
Bevvie Pairing: Mint Julep
Until next time!
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Advice From a New Business Owner After One Year
Our little bar has been open just over a year – a roller coaster of a year. If you had told me at the beginning of September 2021 that in one month, I would own a bar, I would have laughed. That’s how fast it happened. We weren’t looking for it. It was an opportunity that came our way that we knew we had to take.
I’m still no expert, and some days I have serious imposter syndrome. But I figured I’d share some things I’ve learned over the last year if you’re thinking about taking on a similar endeavor.
Have FOMO? This might not be for you.
We made a choice that we were going to give up a lot of our free time, leisure activities, and sleep. It was a conscious choice, but I think we have even been surprised at how drastic the change has been. I rarely meet friends for dinner or drinks or go to concerts like I used to. Usually, I have to sit out of family gatherings. We used to plan meals and find cool new recipes before our weekly grocery shopping trip. Now, in the rare event we have time for grocery shopping, we plan for meals that are simple and quick to prepare. I don’t say this to scare you out of pursuing a big dream. But it is important to know that life as you know it will absolutely change.
Get ready for unsolicited advice and opinions.
No need for a suggestion box. There will be a flood of opinions and feedback coming at you.
“You know what you should do?”
No, but I guess you’re the expert, so please tell me.
We took over a space that was a different bar just a couple months before we opened. Despite the fact that we rebranded and immediately started doing things differently than the previous owners, people still came in telling us what the old bar used to do that we should also do. At least 10 people brought up boiled peanuts – something one of the previous owners (WHO WAS FROM ALABAMA) made and sold. When we decided to make all of our SINGLE OCCUPANCY bathrooms gender-neutral, a few folks showed their unfortunate true colors.
Here’s the thing – this is yours. Claim it. Say “no” as much and as often as you want to. Or just nod and smile and thank them for the feedback. No one else is investing the time and the money. Sometimes people will have ideas and offer meaningful help. Be humble and accept the things you don’t know and could use help with, run with the ideas you like, and collaborate with people who can help you. Leave the rest behind. People smell inauthenticity. Stay true to your goals and the things you care about.
Also, Google reviews are stressful, which makes sense because your business is a reflection of you. There is only so much you can do to make everyone’s experience great. You can’t please everyone, and some people just like to complain. Give the bad reviews the attention they deserve, which in some cases will be none.
If you’re in it for money, you might be disappointed.
We have been open just over a year and to be honest, we’ve probably done as well as can be expected given that we opened just before COVID cases started to peak again and then Omicron arrived just a couple of months later. We’ve more-or-less broken even for the first year. Still, we both work day jobs we don’t like and most of the money we get from the bar is tips from bartending. Yes, that will change as we pay off our loan and some of our other expenses go down. But we’re playing the long game here, and in those first few months, we were terrified that we’d made a horrible mistake in doing this. If you build it they will come… in six months to a year.
It’s men. Yep. They’re the problem – it’s men.
That was cheesy. Sorry, not sorry. The point is misogyny still abounds. During the month we were preparing to open, the times that Harrison would get responses from vendors or our insurance guy after I reached out to accomplish the same thing to no avail were numerous. However, if it was a woman we were dealing with, I was able to accomplish things quickly ane with ease. Even now, women are drastically easier to work with – with the exception of our pretzel guy. That guy is the shit.
A couple of weeks ago, someone thanked Harrison for putting tampons in the bathrooms. Yeah – totally his idea. People have assumed that our male bar manager is the owner as I’m standing right there more times than I can count. Men will also continue to cross lines, say dumb things, and reduce you to ass and tits on the reg. A few weeks ago, one of our karaoke regulars told me I was “rocking those jeans tonight.” I take the environment in our space extremely seriously, especially for our patrons in marginalized groups, whether that be women, POC, LGBTQ, etc. The only people I’ve ever had to call out for their language or behavior are men. Take up space and assert your position. You control the environment and the behavior that is accepted and not accepted.
You will have experiences that you never expected – in a good way.
I didn’t expect such a strong community to form around our little bar or to actually make friends. But that is what’s happened. There are people we see several times a week that we’ve gotten to know and love. People come to us on their best days and their worst. We’ve seen people become parents, and experienced pet loss and pet adoption with our patrons. When one of our regulars who lived just a block away moved just about a 10-minute drive away, I didn’t expect to be as sad as I was. I even went on a weekend trip with one of our regulars.
Boundaries. Boundaries. Boundaries.
An endeavor like this is all-consuming. At times it feels like it’s taken over my entire identity as a person. While making time for some of the things I used to do may not always be in the cards. It’s still important to me to remember that there are other things that are important to me and that I care about. You’re sort of always on the clock as a business owner. There can be an emergency or something that needs to be addressed any time. In times of calm, it’s important to relax and take care of yourself. Maybe that means taking yourself out to dinner or staying home and watching that show you’ve been meaning to get to.
I’m continuing to learn every day. And I think that’s the most important thing I’ve taken away from this experience. Even if you have no idea what you’re doing, you can always learn. You just have to be open to trying things.
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Bar Tools to Level Up Your Home Bar
This post contains affiliate links.
Before owning a bar and having to learn all this stuff, I would have assumed the tools and techniques I saw in cocktail bars just were not for me. BUT here’s the thing – you have access to the exact same tools we use. And they’re reasonably priced.
Cocktail Mixing Glass from A Bar Above: Not only is this mixing glass beautiful, it is thick and sturdy. It fits any cocktail strainer, so you can mix your drink and strain it right into your glass. It’s also big enough to mix multiple drinks at a time (I think we maxed out at four French 75 cocktails last week). Just like with any glass product, beware of quick and drastic temperature changes. If you keep your mixing glass chilled like we do, wait a bit to put it in your freezer after taking it out of a dishwasher. It will crack.
A Bar Above Weighted/Unweighted Boston Shaker Set: You’ve probably seen the shakers that basically have a lid and then a removable top revealing a strainer. They are absolutely perfectly fine for a home bar, but these are just so much fun. They are super durable and dishwasher safe, and more importantly, you can get them in multiple colors. I love my rose gold shaker (she basic). The seal is tight for shaking and you can use the smaller tin as a mixing glass if you don’t have one. There is definitely a technique to using a Boston Shaker, and it took me a while to figure out how to to crack it open without hitting on the counter (don’t do that). I love making drinks with these.
A Bar Above Hawthorne Strainer Seeing a theme here? A Bar Above makes great products for professional or home use. If you’re using a mixing glass or Boston Shaker, you’ll need a strainer. This one includes tight coils to catch (most) pulp or ice shards (we’ll get to fine straining in a minute), so you’ll get a nice clean cocktail. Again, it’s very durable and dishwasher safe. And the price point is great for something you’ll be able to use for a long time.
OXO Cocktail Strainer This is another great cocktail strainer option. The coils are not as tight, so if you’re making a drink with fresh citrus that may have pulp or that you want to make sure is clean without ice shards (a martini for example), you’ll want to also use a fine strainer, as well. It’s very durable just like A Bar Above products, and you can probably even find this one at your local Target.
Barfly Japanese Style Jigger Trying to teach my partner that a proper cocktail is more than just pouring ingredients in a glass was like a revelation for him. A good cocktail has to have the right ingredients in the right amounts. This jigger has internal markings for 1/4, 1/2, 3/4, 1, and 1 1/2 ounces. The shorter side measure one ounce when filled to the top, and the taller side measures two.
glacio Ice Mallet and Lewis bag In the mood for a Mint Julep, a Wisconsin Old Fashioned, or a tiki cocktail? Crushed ice is essential. We use this in my bar, mostly for the Wisconsin Old Fashioned and for the Zombie, which was one of our Halloween specials. Just put your regular ice in the bag and use the mallet to crush it. Crushing ice is also kind of fun – I have to admit.
More recommendations to come. Have fun creating your perfect home bar!
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