Making a rare appearance on this blog because I know it’s been a hell of a month, and I see and hear a lot of people expressing justified despair and exhaustion. It’s really, really easy to feel helpless, so this is my take that admittedly no one asked for. But staying focused the only thing helping me.
We know this man is shit in a tragedy. Blaming a plane crash on DEI is obviously absurd and frankly dangerous. Pointing fingers at everyone but himself for the bad stuff that happens on his watch and likely even as a measurable result of his own actions is par for the course. Is it infuriating? Of course. But it’s not surprising.
The plane crash in D.C. this week will probably be the first of many tragedies where the guy in charge has nothing helpful to offer. Try to find a way to help. I’m not suggesting you look away or turn the other cheek. We have to stay informed, but try to find a way to help.
The next 4 years are going to be exhausting. Between the cruelty of the ill-informed policies, the disregard for actual human life, and the general idiocy of the people running things, getting worked up will be extremely easy.
Be un-triggerable and stay focused. Don’t let the assholes see you get worked up. Go home and scream into a pillow, bang on the steering wheel in your car, but be unwavering. There is a whole swath of people who operate from a place of “owning the libs,” and they love seeing your anger and your tears. Do not let the dumb shit distract you from doing something helpful, not only for yourself but for the community you are able to support. Protect your peace and take time to unplug, don’t stop doing the things you love. Recharge so you can get up and get back in the fight in whatever way you can. We need you.
It might feel small, but community is going to very important in the coming months and years, not only for mental health, but also for building a coalition to change the trajectory in 2 and 4 years. Lean into it and build on it. It looks different for everyone. Find your community and the place you can make even a small bit of difference and focus on that.
For me, it means keeping my little neighborhood bar safe and welcoming for everyone, especially those who do not currently feel welcome in other spaces. It means fostering a community of people who *gasp* care about other people and the well-being of the world around them. This is a small pocket of the world that I can have at least a little control over. I can provide the people who are directly impacted by the abhorrent policies of this administration a respite for even a brief amount of time.
As a business owner, I obviously can’t control who walks in our doors. But I can make sure there are standards for behavior, and there is zero tolerance for racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia in our space.
Some of my regulars are attorneys fighting for families impacted by deportations, trans members of the military, teachers, therapists, and everyday people who care about the people in their community. They will be my focus and my purpose.
Find the thing that gives you purpose and a way to help. It doesn’t mean that any of this will get easier. In some ways, it might even get harder. In addition to my own anxieties about what happens to my business when my patrons have to spend more on groceries, and the things I have to buy get more expensive, my thoughts are also consumed by the worries people talk to me about every day and the things they’re going through. As you may have heard, bartenders are also unlicensed therapists and listening ears. It can be tough some days. But I know in my heart that holding space for people is making a positive impact.
On a personal level, I will not be extending olive branches if this is what you voted for. You are not my concern even a little bit. While I don’t make a habit of wishing anyone a bad time, I honestly hope you feel an ounce of the discomfort you’ve caused other people. Your vote showed your whole ass. This isn’t a team sport. It is and has been beyond politics, and people tried to tell you that he does not care about you or making your life easier. If somehow you have already come to regret your vote, then I hope you will find a way to help the people whose lives you’ve made more difficult than you can fathom, and in some cases, even put in actual jeopardy. If your instinct is to blame black, brown, trans people, and women for the things you think you should be getting and are not, take a hard look at yourself.
Bevvies and Books 
Leave a comment